Have you ever experienced feelings of bitterness, indignation, or persistent anger resulting from any injustice, wrongdoing, or mistreatment? Well, that's called resentment. It is a complex, often negative emotion that can arise in various aspects of life, such as personal relationships, work environments, or social situations. Resentment may stem from real or imagined disrespect, betrayals, or unfair treatment, and it can lead to a sense of emotional burden if not addressed properly. It often feels heavy when we harbour resentment towards a person, trapping us in an endless loop of emotional burden, especially whenever we meet or think about that person. So, in order to have a progressive personal and professional life, we must learn how to deal with resentment towards a person.
There are many well-accepted ways to deal with resentment. Let's explore some practical strategies that can help us in our day-to-day lives.
Feel Your Emotions:
It's quite normal to have negative emotions associated with resentments, and it's okay to have them. However, we shouldn't surrender ourselves to the emotions. Instead, feel them, understand them, and become aware of your feelings. It's about allowing yourself to understand that it's okay not to be okay while being fully aware of the feelings you are experiencing.
Reflect on Your Resentment:
Take a moment to think about what exactly bothers you. What's the root cause of the resentment? Many times, the real reason behind resentment can be different. For example, we might have felt hurt by our colleague's sarcasm, but the real reason behind that hurt feeling could be something that happened in your past, resonating with the present sarcasm, maybe a childhood experience. Always look for the real reason behind the resentment, not just the immediate one.
Plan for a Better Tomorrow:
Instead of succumbing to negative feelings, there is always a better option – consider what you can do to make things better in the future if the same thing happens again. What changes can you make in your behavior, awareness, and reactions if the same situation arises again? This is about using the pain to pave the way for a better tomorrow.
Express Yourself Through Writing:
Journaling, a powerful tool for achieving self-awareness, can help here too. Express yourself – what you feel, how you reflect on the feelings, what your action plan is for the future, what changes you will seek for yourself, etc. on paper. Writing down your thoughts provides more clarity and structure. Once you have a clear structured picture, it becomes easier to explore, just like navigating with a route map. You will automatically find ways to get out of resentment through reflection on yourself through journaling.
Share with Someone:
If you feel that things are going out of hand, it's high time to share with someone. But be cautious about whom you are sharing with. Share with an empathic person, not with sympathetic. Share with someone who listens to your words, not with someone who will pour tons of expert advice onto you. When we talk about our bitter feelings with someone, it reduces the heaviness of our mind, providing instant relaxation and peacefulness so that you can make yourself tuned to the other options described here to handle resentment.
Let It Out in a Healthy Way:
Physical activities can boost your mood and change your mindset. Use the same technique to handle resentment. Let the emotions pour out through healthy activities. It can be physical activities or any other activity you enjoy. My favorite resentment-bursting activity is bicycle riding. What about you? The gym, perhaps?
Keep Expectations Realistic:
As we say, 'it's okay to be not okay,' it's okay to make mistakes too. No one is perfect, neither you nor the person who made you upset. Understanding this and lowering our expectations a bit may help a lot when dealing with people. You may or may not make the other person feel better, but it will help you to feel better and to avoid resentment.
Practice Forgiveness:
This is the best remedy for resentment and the greatest thing a human being can do for another fellow human being. Whoever is the reason behind your resentment, the moment you forgive them, the reason for resentment vanishes. After that, there is no more reason for bitterness. Forgiving is not as easy as we say, it needs a lot of courage, self-awareness, and empathy. So, even though it's the most powerful way to deal with resentment, it is one of the difficult options to practice. Make it a habit to forgive others. That will help you in crucial moments of life.
Consider Consulting Mental Health Professionals:
We are still in a society that believes consulting a mental health professional is something abnormal. It's high time to normalize psychological therapies. In the case of resentment, it is always advisable to consult a professional if you feel that things are going out of hand and it's starting to affect your daily life. It's always better to get professional assistance as early as possible if you feel that it's out of control.
Remember, as we evolve, things will get changed. Our views, mindset, values, thought process, everything changes. The way our mind responds to each situation also changes, so the intensity of resentment also changes. On the way, you may find better ways to handle resentment. One thing we shall always remember is that what works for us may not work for others, so never push anyone to practice a certain method to deal with their negative emotions and feelings. Choose what feels right for you, and may your journey towards a resentment-free life be both enlightening and empowering.
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